listen, 'cos it's love and read, 'cos i'm scared.



I know I haven't blogged in forever. But I do have an excuse; it's my arts uni interview tomorrow. So for the past month i've been up 'til the ridiculous hours creating a portfolio. I think I can safely say it's destroyed my soul and positive outlook upon life. And now, the big day has actually arrived and in under 24 hours, it will be over and my chance will be the past.

So, I'm terrified and adapting the method of assuming i've been rejected and anything above that, is going to be incredible. I don't have much hope, but I'm gonna give it all I can. Ever since I can remember, I've loved fashion and wanted to be a designer, and now my chance is actually here, I can't just let it go so easily. I know I have other options and I know it's not the end of the world if I don't get in. But I actually love this place.

Tomorrow is the first step, in getting my own little boutique 'Jennifer Douch Clothing', down some little street with fairy lights hanging in the window and full of random, unique, one-off designs.

I don't want to be the person who goes back and says I got rejected. I don't want to have to tell people after all this, i'm a failure.
I want people to ask about all the amazing things i'm doing, just like they do with my brothers. Not how my back is since my surgery. I want to tell them I have somewhere to go in September and a career ahead of me.

So let's do this.
Give it everything I've got, and wait for the fall.
But I'm not going down without a fight.



open up your heart, let the light shine in
don't you understand, i already have a plan.
i'm waiting for my real life to begin♥

please. like, seriously please. i can't explain how much i want a place