Thursday, November 19, 2009

future

I'm in one of those really thoughtful moods, so this is going to be a long essay post I'm afraid.
I realised I've never actually written on here what I want to do or why. I said I want to go to University to study Fashion. But never exactly what.

So, I don't want to just design and make clothes. I don't want to do just one thing in fashion. I want to start something new. A new company. I don't want to have a huge designer label like Chanel or Gucci. I love them, but I think they don't seem to have any values or faces. I want people to know who I am and what I'm about. I want them to see that I'm gonna fuck up, and how I move on from that. How I don't want to be one of those who tells girls if they don't fit into a size 8 dress, then they're fat, or they're ugly. I want to share my career, I want it to be bloody crazy and controversial. I don't want to have to sit all the famous celebrities on the front row at my show, just because they want publicity. I want people I care about to sit there. Who says I can't, right?

I want to manage the promotion, marketing and every aspect of running the business. I want to be in complete control, I don't want someone telling me what to do or putting their name on my clothes. I don't care if I have to keep waitressing on the side, or I only ever have 10 customers through my life. I'll still be making clothes, and that's what makes me happy.

I want it to been seen as honest, kinda pure in a way. I have this image of all the photographs being shot in a field, with the models all together dancing and laughing. In a field. I don't know why a field, I just always associate them with freedom. They'd be happy photographs. Honest. No pouting or frowning models that look like they will kill you.

I want it to be like an exclusive club. Only one of every dress will ever be made. Completely original.

I want to have a fashion show, not just a basic one with models walking up and down the catwalk pouting. But a proper show. I want something that's going to show the meaning behind my dresses, how they're created to live moments and have happy memories in. They're flirty and romantic, each with pleats and ruffles and chiffon fabric, almost dreamy and fairytale like, especially the floaty ball/ evening dresses I've made.
So I can imagine an outside fashion show. In the middle of a field, just as it's about to hit sundown when the lights fading and everythings kinda yellow and aged (It always looks yellow to me at that time). Then have a canapy with fairy lights and hundreds of flowers wrapped around, with some hanging down over the catwalk. The actual catwalk would be plain white. Then the fairy lights could flash slightly in beat to the usic before the models come out, then have really cheerful music, the kind that makes people want to stand up and dance.
Then the models won't be little sticks. They'll be normal people, with flowy hair. And they won't pout. They can smile, they can do what they want. There wouldn't be an order, there wouldn't be structure. Models would just go. Improvise. Dance, sing. Whatever they felt in that outfit.
It'd be chaos. It'd be a mess and most likely ruin my career.
But my dresses are improvised, they have no plan.
So that's how they should be shown.

If after it all, in some ridiculous situation I was offered a job at a fashion house or for some big store. I don't think I'd take it. Maybe my opinion will change in a few years. But even if it meant a lot more money. I wouldn't. I think I'd loose my views, kinda loose who I am. It would be amazing to be offered something like that. But I want to make it by myself. I want to live in a little house in oxford centre, I want to have a life aswell as a fashion career.

So that's why I do all this. Why I live in chaos and wilingly put myself through the stress of making dresses for myself and other people.
Not because I want to be just a fashion designer, or pattern cutter or stylist.
But because I want a fashion business, that people will talk about and say 'what the fuck'. Or maybe they'll say 'wow'?

Who knows.
Anything can happen.

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